If
a child is the cook
Be honest
with the child and give simple, clear explanations consistent with the child's level of
understanding. Be careful not to overload them with too many facts. This information may
need to be repeated many times.
Prepare
the child for what they can expect in a new situation such as, going to a memorial
service, or viewing the body. Explain as best you can how others may be reacting and how
you would like the child to behave.
When
considering if a child should attend a memorial service consult the child. Their wishes
should be the main factor for the decision. Include the child in gatherings at whatever
level they want to participate. Helping to make cookies for the reception may be all they
want to do.
Expect
them to ask questions like, "Why does he have his glasses on if he's dead and can't
read?" Or, "Why is her skin cold?"
Younger
children are more affected by disruptions in their environment than by the loss itself.
Avoid
confusing explanations of death, such as, "gone away," or "gone to
sleep." It might be better to say, "his body stopped working."
Avoid
making God responsible for the death. Instead say, "God didn't take your sister, but
God welcomed her." Or, "God is sad that we're sad. But now that your sister has
died, she is with God."
Don't
assume that if the child isn't talking about the loss it hasn't affected them.
Be
consistent and maintain the usual routines as much as possible.
Encourage
the child to express their feelings and to ask questions.
Children
may act out their grief in their fantasy play and artwork.
If
children have seen adults cry in the past they will be less concerned about tears now.
Show
affection and let them know that they are loved and will be taken care of.
Each child
reacts differently to loss. Behaviors that you may observe include: withdrawal, acting
out, disturbances in sleeping and eating, poor concentration, being overly clingy,
regression to earlier stages of development, taking on attributes of the deceased.
Sharing
your grief with a child is a way to help them learn about grief.
A copy of the Tear Soup
Tips can be downloaded from the link provided below.
This download file was prepared for you to print and share with with
your support group or friends. Enjoy. For more info contact webmaster@griefwatch.com
DOWNLOAD
HERE: 
Cooking
Tips in PDF Format
