How To Use Tear Soup

 

Pat Schwiebert, RN

Grief Watch

 


 

 


  

 

Suggestions of How to Use Tear Soup in a Class or Group

 

After viewing or reading Tear Soup here are some helpful questions to discuss as a group:

 

•What would you like others to know to help them better understand your grief?

•What have you learned about crying? Can you anticipate what will make you cry?

•Who are the persons that have been most helpful to you in your grief?

•What have they done or said that was helpful?

•Are there aspects of this loss that make you angry?

•How have relationships with friends and family members changed since your loss?

•How do you think this loss will affect holidays and special occasions in your family?

•What do you think could have made things easier at the immediate time of your loss?

•In what ways are you now different because of this loss?

•In what ways are you coping with this loss differently from others in your family?

•What is your comfort food?

•How can we help each other?

•What is hardest for you right now?

•Do you have any regrets?  What are the parts of your grief that you will never regret?

•If your best friend experienced a similar loss what advice would you give to them?

•How did Grandy and Pops grieve differently?

•Grandy said she needed to be in a safe place to grieve.  What did she mean?

•Why do you think Grandy wants to remember, even though it makes her sad?

•What do you think it means to burn your tear soup?

•Why do you think there are different sizes of pots?

•How long do people grieve?

•List other losses that might cause you to grieve besides someone dying.

•Why is grief important?

 


 

 

More Questions to Contemplate

 

If someone you loved died:

 

•What is the most important thing you learned from your loved one who died?

•If you could tell that loved one just one thing, what would it be?

•What would you as a family like to do together to remember your loved one?

 


 

 

Educational Use of Tear Soup

 

Tear Soup is a good educational tool for all children – those who have recently experienced a loss in their lives, and those who are learning that grief is a natural part of life.

Have the students work in groups and imagine that a person they know has suffered a great loss.

  • What could they do to help that person?
  • How did Grandy and Pops grieve differently?
  • Grandy said she needed to be in a safe place to grieve. What did she mean?
  • Why do you think Grandy wants to remember, even though it makes her sad?
  • What do you think it means to burn your tear soup?
  • Why do you think there are different sizes of pots?
  • How long do people grieve?
  • List other things that might cause you to grieve besides someone dying.
  • Why is grief important?

 

If there has been a recent death that affected the students you may want to consider these additional suggestions:

  • Have an actual soup pot present, and ask students to write or draw their favorite memory of the person who died and place it in the pot.
  • Write a sympathy note.
  • Encourage students to discuss the ingredients they have personally used in making their own tear soup. What is their favorite ingredient? What is their least favorite ingredient?
  • Make a collage that illustrates that person’s life by using pictures from magazines, student drawings,or photos.
  • Ask students to work in groups and act out different key points in the video.
  • Have students journal the feelings they are experiencing around this loss.

 


 

 

Tear Soup Activites

 

  • Have an actual soup pot present, and ask participants to write or draw their favorite memory of the person who died and place it in the pot.
  • Write a sympathy note.
  • Make a collage that illustrates that person’s life by using pictures from magazines, student drawings, or photos.
  • Ask participants to work in groups and act out different key points in the video.
  • Encourage the group to discuss the ingredients they have personally used in making their own tear soup.  What is their favorite ingredient?  What is their least favorite ingredient?
  • Invite participants to journal the feelings they are experiencing around this loss.
  • Start a monthly soup group where people get together and share soup and tears.
  • Read Tear Soup at the first grief class and then at the last class and talk about how they relate to the book at each reading.
  • Have people write their own Tear Soup recipe
  • Choose which pot would have your name on it at the beginning of your grief.  How does the size of the pot change over time?
  • Pass the book, Tear Soup, around the room and have each person read a page, discuss that page and then pass it to the next person to read.
  • Look at the pictures of the dog.   What emotions does the dog express?  Who do you see the dog represent in your life? 
  • Have people bring their favorite comfort food to class.
  • Think about what might be the title (or titles) of your book on the shelf?
  • Write a letter to your grandchild explaining what you’ve learned about life.
  • Have each participant fill up the pot with “ingredients” of their tear soup and explain their recipe to the group.
  • Make an imaginary pot of burnt soup and explain what went into that soup.
  • In a group share how you felt, and what you did when a friend was grieving.  Share how your own experience changed your caring ability.
  • Write a list of some unhelpful things people have said and put it in the pot. 
  • Write a list of some helpful things that people have said and put it in the pot.